Geosex: The South is Sexier

Hands down. Spanish Moss trees, hot humid summers, black people everywhere, my experience living in Atlanta, Georgia for four years was by far the sexiest of my life. I think of my life as follows:


Childhood (3rd grade to 5th grade). Playing in the neighborhood with neighborhood kids, family, school, sports, church.

Puberty--(6th-8th grade). Sports, school, girls, opinions, church.

Adolescence (9th grade-12th grade). Lotsa opinions, lotsa girls. School. Sports. Music.

Young Man--(College-Grad School). Strategy. Travel. Young women.

Man--(Marriage-Present). Wife, children, family, work and, wisdom.

During my *Adolescence* I learned that I could write to get scholarship money as well as compete and win cash awards for writing poetry, plays and essays. However, while a *Young Man*, I exploited this fully, securing funding from daMan to cover my expenses for one year of living in east Africa, while also touring Southern Africa and finally, having one lovely day in Dubai. I was so engrossed in this never fail system of getting everything I wanted that I later applied to graduate school and with the help of an organization at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts, found myself a graduate student at the University of Vermont, studying Victorian undergarments in relation to the perceived pedophile, Lewis Carrol, (Author of Alice in Wonderland) and his original illustrations of Alice.

I digress. I was sexy. I truly believed there was nothing I could not do. And I had dollars to prove it. In Georgia, and throughout the Southern United States in general, life is lived frankly or not at all. For example, my maternal homeland, Pine Bluff, Arkansas, has a population of lil over 50,000, if that. Behind the Pine Bluff City Courthouse is a statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest, the founder of the Klu Klux Klan. Forrest wasn't even from the City of Pine Bluff. They just put him there expressly so that niggas would know they had no chance of justice. And so, in response, Pine Bluff has produced, especially from University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff, some of the finest Black doctors and educators the world has known. They were clear. They knew they would not be *given* their freedom, let alone their bliss. They took it. Just like we have to take it.

Somehow in the south, self-determination seemed easier. Maybe because of all the reflection of positive Black men in my community. And somehow theres also this random memory...Never once do I remember waiting in the South. Not waiting for the mail to come, or snow to stop, or rain to lighten, or day to break...my wants and needs seemed to always coincide, and I found myself in synchronicity with most things around me, at all times. Buffalo, New York? Where I was born and raised...not a chance? When they stopped *giving* Black people factory jobs the bottom fell out of our community. Here in San Francisco, where I live, Black folk feel like an extinct species. Same story, Naval Shipyard closes and communities fails because ain't no mo good jobs to get from daMan. In San Francisco, I left daMan, two years ago. I now get what I work for, no more no less. Being a man is not sexy. This shit is hard work when you have principles and responsibilities and have to feed people as well as convince them that they are beautiful in world that constantly tells them, "Bitch, you ain't shit," it gets hard. I am living in San Francisco owning and operating a business as a sole proprietor, taking risks and changing my family profile from good job getter to bliss follower. But not because its sexy, but because for some reason California niggas often pan out to mediocrity. Maybe its a lack of roots. For example, I am the upteenth black man from the east coast to come west and open a business only to hear young bloods ask me, "how you do that?" I can t answer them, I just did it, didnt give up my dream, and when the opportunity was there I took risks and never looked back. But I may also stand for something different too. It is important to me that the American community see Black people as national stakeholders--and small businesses make this country what it is...not getting good jobs from bad corporations. Something else that motivates me is that everyone out here uses the word nigga like its ok. I hate that shit! For me, it is unacceptable for nonblack people to use the word nigga. Where I come from, that is just out of pocket. But here in California, thats not the case. Everyone calls everyone nigga all the time, like its ok. White folk, latino folk, asians. And dont no black people say nuthin. I got fed up. I decided one day that the next nonblack person to say nigga in my presence will get their card pulled his card. The Bay gives a free pass for everyone to just denigrate niggas...and then try to explain it as some solidarity movement...I support Palestine but if another young Palestinians starts talkin about niggas in my presence i'm gonna call hima towel-head. ...there is no unity in oppression, its always personal. those that seek to unite oppressions are politicians not revolutionaries. that is why narrative is such a great voice for survivors. I dont know your struggle, and you definitely dont know mine, so why start off talking about what I heard about yours? But here again I digress. Point is, in the south, can't everybody just call anybody nigga. And I will even venture as far as to say, new yorkers dont tolerate that shit either. Nigga cannot become a universally acceptable word for urbanity...if you are black...please cuss out of the next nonblack person that says the word nigga in yo presence. and no, not because the word is so precious, but simply cuz we need no longer be the global benchmark for fucked upness...chink, gook, dego, wop, christ-killer...all work well too, fuck! Cant niggas get a break, its a whole fuckin new milennia. And how does this fit in with Southerness and sexiness? Because standing up for something is sexy, and the south does that best!

Atlanta is where I experienced bliss, and Black folk there and throughout the South have maintained many communities, in addition to everything else needed. Though, in recent years I have been to Arkansas more than Atlanta, I still find strength in being in place that are mostly African American. I am happy to have had my experience of the South. I hope to return one day. But until then, my experience at an HBCU in the South pretty much fuels the work of confronting the incessant challenges of being a Black man, husband and father in San Francisco today. I pray that my children will seize the opportunities to experience their own adult bliss when presented the chance.

So writing got me there--to the South I mean. But its listening that keeps me going back. In addition to being frank, the South is also in my opinion, a more interesting and beautiful linguistic interpretation of English. My wife, who is very much a local of San Francisco, has spent time with me in the South, and she and I share many interests, including observing how country, country folk can be. It is with genuine admiration that we listen to songs born simply to exclaim without, of course, exclaiming. Lost d's and t's sweeten words that truthfully seem to swing much better from the mouth without the Germanic consonants, like "*chile* don'*coun* *cho* blessins!*" SO I think, that when a group of people living in community begin to frame conversation aimed at sweetness in sound, it just seem natural that all thangs become sweeter. And for overkill, please note the preferred drink of the south....say it with me now...."SWWWEET TEA

I don't know why I tried to write this blog. This shit is pretty much impossible to articulate clearly, i mean its just my opinion but damnt I am on Spring Break and I am not in the South, and so I think this might actually be a vent.

Okay. Another angle. You know you are in harmony with southern ways.... when you are ok with quiet...sex is never a problem...family is always who you live with...and dieting is for losers.